When Someone Has Wronged You

Are you still upset with someone who wronged you? What do you feel in your heart for them? Do thoughts of revenge flood your mind? What can you do to make it go away? When someone has done something that has hurt or embarrassed another person it is very difficult to deal with it in the heat of the moment. But what about when it's not in the heat of the moment? Days later, weeks later, months later, years later does it still have a hold on the person who was wronged? Speaking of the negative side of anger, I have known of sisters who had not spoken to each other in over 30 years because of something that happened when they were teenagers. Disagreements, an intentional humiliation, or something worse can drive anger or rage into continious streams of negative life altering attitudes if you let it. The prisons and jails are full of the results of unresolved anger or rage. People who are angry who allow it to become uncontrolled will commit heinous acts. But what about the people who seem to have their anger controlled? People who seem to go along being nice or some version of nice and then all of a sudden when you don't go along with their plan, they explode with a loud burst of anger and yell and say things that are hateful and rude, the when they are done they act like nothing ever happened. They say they are over it you should get over it too.
The next catagory of angry people is the ones who act like they never get angry. No matter what someone does to them or anything that goes wrong they don't seem to be upset. They tend to stuff it down where it silently seethes and on the outside they seem fine to everyone else. The next catagory is the people who are not angry at other people, but they are angry at themselves. For whatever reason they cannot seem to forgive themselves. They feel like they should be punished and in their minds they beat themselves up all the time. Do any of these anger catagories describe you or someone you know? There is a way to get not only through or over this anger, you can get rid of it.
Forgiveness is the key to resolving anger. A person who is angry cannot really move forward in this area of his or her life and it will cause underlying riffs in other areas of his or her life. Until forgiveness has found its place in the heart anger will continue to control areas of that person's life. But how does someone forgive when the pain is so deep and everytime he or she thinks about the person or incident that caused the pain it feels like a bad fire burning in his or her chest.
I asked that very question myself once. How can I forgive when these people hurt me like this? For nearly a year I had this aweful burning sensation in my chest when I dwelt on the issue, or someone else would mention the persons names I would feel the hurt and the awful fire rise up in my chest. This particular night, I had just read the scriptures Mark 11:25-26, "And when you stand praying, forgive if you have aught against any, so that your Father will forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive you your trespasses. When I asked this question I directed it toward God because I wanted to be forgiven for my own trespasses. Then I clenched my knucles white and yelled at the top of my voice, "I cannot forgive them! I don't know how." The answer I got I had never heard before that night. I was raised a preacher's kid and had heard about forgiveness but never like I heard it that night. The still small voice I heard on the inside of me said, "On your own you cannot forgive, however, my son Jesus lives inside of you and he has forgiven them already, he died on the cross for them just like he died on the cross for you. Allow his forgiveness to flow through you toward them." So, once I heard this voice I had a choice to make. I was very angry, hurt, sad and I didn't like myself. But I made the choice and what I did changed my life forever. I said, "By my own will I choose to forgive them." I said this out loud everytime the thoughts come to my mind or when someone would mention something about the issue. I kept saying it and about 2-1/2 months later someone mentioned something about the issue and it didn't hurt, the anger didn't rise up, I didn't feel that awful burning sensation. I realized I really had forgiven them. I was free. I rejoiced in that God helped me to forgive when I was not able to do it on my own. From then on when I get angry, I know what to do. Identify the problem, confess my part in it if I had any, and say, "By my own will I choose to forgive them. I allow Jesus' forgiveness to flow through me toward that person or persons and then I let it go." Let go and let God. If a person who is angry will do this, they too, can be set free and get rid of negative anger from his or her life.